Small Wins, Big Shifts: What One Thing Can You Do Today?
To say that the day had been rough doesn’t really do that day justice. I felt like I had been spinning my wheels all day long. I couldn’t fix anything that was broken. Every task hit a roadblock. My tasks remained unfinished. I drove home (and that was an hour-long drive) feeling completely defeated. I called my husband on the way and told him I would be picking dinner up instead of cooking — I just didn’t have it in me to be creative in the kitchen.
After dinner, I went in and sat in my favorite spot in the living room, pulled out my tablet, and completed a digital jigsaw puzzle. It was an activity completely devoid of any productive value, and I must emphasize the word “productive.” You see, that silly little jigsaw puzzle had great value: it put my world back into order. Sometimes, when the day feels like a total loss, I come back to one question: what one thing can I do today to reset?
The Silent Comparison Game
Oh, yes, I’m a champion at this game. I am the very personification of Impostor Syndrome. It was worse before I graduated college — at the age of 59. I blame no one but myself for this, because I frequently receive offers to join a new team or participate in a different initiative, and I nearly always accept.
Those extending the offer know I’m relatively new to the field, but they’re always confident I can rise to the occasion; I always do. But I’m still constantly aware of the disparity between my knowledge and that of the veteran team members.
While for me, the Silent Comparison Game plays out in the office, for many friends I’ve known, the field of battle is a tidy house, well-behaved children, and the volume of home-cooked meals. For others, it may be workouts-per-week or calories burned, and for still others, it may be progression up a corporate ladder. We may even compare our “today” to some past “best day.”
Social media can exacerbate these feelings of inadequacy. That’s no secret, and it’s no surprise. We seldom see Instagram posts of someone having a mediocre experience — but they have them. Nobody’s life is a constant state of elation. If it were, there would be no point to elation. Even elation itself would become mediocrity.
The Myth of Consistent Excellence
Let’s bust the myth that our “best” is a fixed standard. Your best is going to be different every day, because every day has variables you can’t predict – like the weather, other people’s choices, and random accidents, just to name a few.
That doesn’t mean that every rainy day, every interaction, or every surprise is a tragedy, and it doesn’t mean that you always have an excuse for slacking. It does mean that if you have a day when the rain causes your car to hydroplane and you have a near miss on the highway, you get some grace if you can’t concentrate very well for the rest of the day.
Stress, sleep, and life circumstances all contribute to what we’re able to accomplish in any given time period. These are factors that we can control, and to the extent that we can, we will be better able to deal with the times when we’re caught off-guard. What you shouldn’t do, though, is default to self-blame when your day is more beige than red-letter. If getting out of bed and brushing your teeth is today’s best, then that’s enough. It’s true that consistency is key to long-term success. But, just as we say that the stock market continues to climb over time, consistency over time is more important to your long-term success at anything than short, infrequent bursts of productive action. If you need a break from blogging three times a week to get your Christmas spirit in place, take that break. (I’m talking to you, self.)
The Power of One Thing
Some time ago, I discovered that I could counteract the effects of a day that felt like failure by making sure I did one thing successfully before I went to bed. That one thing didn’t have to be significant. Sometimes it’s joining with my friends to sing. I mentioned the digital jigsaw puzzle. I’ve gone home and tossed a load of towels into the washer and felt better – it’s hard to mess up a load of towels.
But I’ve also gone home and taken up my seat on my loveseat and spent the evening binge-watching Downton Abbey. Sometimes I try to figure out where I’d have fit into that era’s social structure, but most of the time I just enjoy. It’s completely self-indulgent. If I’m not treating it as a reward for a productive day, I try to keep it in check so it doesn’t become a crutch.
It’s a rare day when I don’t get some little thing accomplished. The week I had the flu this year was a string of those rare days. I telework, and I still couldn’t manage it! My best on those days was eating some little something so I could have some fuel for healing. I didn’t feel the least bit guilty for not being productive for a whole week, and I didn’t feel like I had to make up for that lost time. It was just something that happened. That week, I didn’t even try to do one small thing.
But don’t underestimate the power of one small victory. It will almost never completely erase the sting of a day’s difficulties. You won’t feel a surge of energy at the close of a draining event just because you washed your dishes after dinner. But it can keep you from feeling like the whole day was lost — and sometimes, that’s enough.
Your Turn
A ship is almost never perfectly on course. It adjusts constantly—nudging the wheel this way or that, responding to wind and current. But with small corrections, it still reaches its destination. That’s what we’re doing too. We’re navigating.
What is something you can always count on to pull out of a bad day? Leave a comment below the “Related Posts” section, and maybe I’ll try it, too!
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