Meme Hygiene: How to Stop Accidentally Spreading Hate Online
Think back to a time when you were scrolling through your social media, saw a funny meme, and shared it — then later realized that it told a lie or “punched down” on someone. Remember that feeling? Kind of a mix of shame and the feeling of having been fooled. But still…it was just a meme — right?
Maybe. Memes shape our culture more than we realize, for reasons I’ll explain in just a minute. As a result, if you use the internet, you inherently accept responsibility for the material you share. You are accountable to tell the truth and to ensure that what you say is what you intend. It’s your responsibility, and nobody else’s. It’s time to adopt a practice of “meme hygiene” – making a few quick, simple checks before we hit “share.”
Why Memes Matter More Than We Think
Social media prioritizes video over everything else, and images over plain text. Furthermore, “shared” images get even more exposure than simple images. As a result, memes travel faster and get a lot of exposure. You’re putting stuff out into the world to people you’ll never meet.
There’s also an emotional factor, because humor tends to disarm people. They carry a bit of extra emotional weight. You find something funny and you want others to enjoy the funny as well. But there’s information in that humor, and that matters.
What if that information is inaccurate? What if it’s harmful? Memes tend to become “common knowledge,” even when they’re wrong. Tina Fey portrayed Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, and the line “I can see Russia from my backyard” came to be widely attributed to Palin, who never said it.
Because of the humorous base of memes, a joke can become weaponized ridicule. That line is thinner than it seems, and while we’re laughing or musing over the joke, we can completely overlook the unpleasant undertone. The quick-scroll nature of social media discourages deep thought, and we’ve let it happen.
Three Kinds of Harmful Memes
Outside of the obvious harm that we can quickly spot, such as encouraging harm or self-harm, genocide, or CSAM, let’s look at some of the more subtle ways memes can subversively get us to participate in things we may not want to be part of.
“Punching Down”
Humor that targets groups with less power is “punching down.” The targets would be based on disability, religion, gender, immigrants, body types, and that sort. The target does matter – mocking an institution is not the same as mocking a person. We tell our kids to be kind to less fortunate people; we should do the same.
Dehumanizing or Stereotype Reinforcement
Memes that reduce people to caricatures or spread harmful narratives play into dehumanizing behavior. Even if it’s “just a joke,” repeating it and spreading it normalizes the message. It indicates that you believe the target is less than human. Is that what you really feel?
Outrage-Bait and Manufactured Division
You’re scrolling and see something that just raises the hackles on your neck. You instantly become outraged. You’ve been sucked into the trap – many memes are engineered to provoke tribal anger just to get you to click a link or share the meme. It may be political, racial, religious, or just plain meme. Whatever the source, you should know that many come from pages with hidden agendas.
The Meme Hygiene Checklist
Let’s just go down a short list of things to examine before you hit that SHARE button. Please feel free to screenshot this list for future reference!
- Who is the joke aimed at? Identify the “but of the joke.” If it punches down, pause.
- Does it rely on stereotypes? If the humor only works because of a stereotype, skip it.
- Does it generalize an entire group? “All _ are ” is a red flag.
- Will it make me feel good or guilty tomorrow? Humor that leaves a bad aftertaste is a sign.
- Is the source credible—or sketchy? Pages with vague names, no transparency, or heavy political tilt = caution.
- Would I say this joke directly to someone in that group? The “front porch rule:” If you wouldn’t say it to their face, you probably shouldn’t share it online.
What to Share Instead
If you don’t want to be known for spreading hate and incorrect information, it’s not hard to play it safe. And, there’s nothing wrong with doing so. There may be times when you feel strongly that you need to correct an inaccuracy, but you don’t need to be the one to start something. I enjoy social media, but I started getting a bad feeling every time I used it. Since I started sharing some of the stuff on this list, I started seeing more of it as well – that’s how the algorithm works. And I feel so much better!
Uplifting humor and universal situations: nearly everyone has gone looking for sunglasses that were on their head, or complained to someone on their phone that they couldn’t find their phone.
Clever observational memes: the egg-laying echidna that was spotted after being thought to have been extinct.
Satire that punches up: The Internal Revenue Service is fair game
Memes about shared human experience: Remembering where you were when you heard about the towers, or standing in line for ice after Hurricane Ivan
Creative or wholesome content: Like the one I shared about the mushroom
Your own photography or personal anecdote: That’s one of the best uses of social media
There’s enough material out there that makes you feel good that you don’t need to contribute to unhygienic memes.
How to Deal with Harm Without Drama
Sometimes you do have to say something. Sometimes something is just so egregious that it requires someone to call the poster out. You can do it without fanning the flame, and fanning the flame is exactly what you don’t want to do.
If something doesn’t sit right with you, you have the option to delete it. No problem, no explanation required. The less you interact with it, the less you’ll see of things like it.
You can also gently nudge the person who posted it where you can see it (usually a friend who shared it from someone else), saying, “Hey, I don’t think the creator of this meme meant it nicely. It’s not like you to pass along things that hurt people.”
One way to get other people to pay more attention is to ask questions for more information. If your friends are mostly very kind and they do something out of character, they may need help seeing it, and then they probably will see it.
The most important thing to remember is that you want to de-escalate the issue, not score points by being “right.” And you still want to be friends after the meme has run its course. It’s absolutely possible to do both.
Meme Hygiene as Digital Citizenship
It can take effort to hold back something you really want to say, but I believe it’s very important not to say something online that you wouldn’t say to someone in person. Let’s be real here, everyone that you know who reads it will hear you saying it, so you’re not really hiding behind a digital wall of anonymity.
Being thoughtful online doesn’t mean you don’t have a sense of humor. There’s plenty of humor available that doesn’t spread hate or hurt. It just means that your humor isn’t built on someone else’s pain. Culture shifts by one small action at a time – your shares matter. You have the power to turn the culture.
Your Turn
I’m inviting you to audit your last ten meme shares. Which ones still feel good, and which ones don’t – and why don’t they? Screenshot that checklist and share it, or, better yet, hit one of those social share buttons below and share the whole post. Let’s make our feeds a place that feels welcoming and fun again!
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