Borrowed Courage: Why the Most Courageous People Often Feel Like Frauds
I am the poster child for impostor syndrome. Even though my credentials on my team are as good as anyone’s, that my photography is lovely, and that my writing is widely read and enjoyed, my late starts in all of these things make me feel less qualified than everyone else. As a result, whenever I see an opportunity to take a step that requires stepping out of the box, I often need to rely on borrowed courage to make my move.
I know a lot of people who experience impostor syndrome at various times, especially when embarking on something new, like a new job, a new church calling, or any situation that requires skills, talents, or experience that we don’t have yet. It’s very common, and very real. To move forward requires an act of courage. If we don’t have it, though, we can lean on the strength, belief, or example of someone else. This is borrowed courage. We can see the power of borrowed courage in history, psychology, and everyday life.
Borrowed Courage and Impostor Syndrome
Impostor syndrome is that feeling of being a fraud despite evidence of competence. At my last job, I was the only one without a college degree, and I felt somehow inferior to them. It didn’t seem to matter to me that the manager asked me to join the team because she felt it was the next step in my career, and that my experience would contribute to the team. It didn’t matter that I brought knowledge and expertise that nobody else on the team had.
My survival tool was borrowed courage, relying on my family’s belief in me and that of the teammates at the position I left for the new job. During the first several months, I kept reminding myself that my manager recruited me for the position; it wasn’t one I sought. The manager wanted me there.
I learned something important from that experience that still serves me well: Feeling impostor syndrome can be a sign that you’re stretching into growth. Once I found my stride at that position, I wrote several Standard Operating Procedure documents. I created several Work Process documents that the team still uses today, five years after my departure. Understanding that growth is almost always uncomfortable keeps me writing, keeps me involved in marketing my artwork, keeps me ready to extend myself into new projects at work. If I’m uncomfortable, I’m probably in the middle of a learning experience. We often step forward not because we feel ready, but because someone else’s belief steadies us enough to make the move.
Historical Voices of Borrowed Courage
Borrowing courage can literally change the world. Although most of us won’t become famous for facing the fears that might otherwise keep us from moving forward, we’re fortunate to have examples of some who did. Their stories of borrowed courage can be a source for our own.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Eleanor Roosevelt is often credited for her courage in the face of her situation. She described herself as “a solemn child, without beauty and painfully shy.” Her own mother reinforced the self-perception, calling her Granny. She and Franklin had been married only six years before his election to the New York Senate began drawing her out of the background into the social and political obligations of a much more public life.
During her years as the wife of a prominent political figure, she transformed herself from a shy, young wife who dreaded public attention, to a political spouse who attended public events because duty required it, then to an independent advocate who found her own voice through experience, and finally, to a First Lady whose confidence was earned over years of acting before she felt fully ready. She said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You can say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Mahatma Gandhi
He was born Mohandas Gandhi, and he also describes himself as extremely shy. He trained as a lawyer in London, but he wrote in his autobiography, The Story of My Experiments with Truth, that he was so nervous in court early in his career that he couldn’t effectively cross-examine a witness. His work took him to South Africa to represent an Indian merchant for one year. Shortly after his arrival there, he was thrown off a train even though he held a valid first-class ticket. The incident awakened Gandhi to the depth of the racial discrimination confronting Indians in South Africa. Although Apartheid wouldn’t be officially established until 1948, South Africa already had a long colonial history of racial hierarchy, segregation, dispossession, and unequal rights.
Before he left South Africa to return to India in 1915, he had accomplished several significant improvements for civil and legal rights of Indians living in South Africa, developed the concept of nonviolent resistance, and gained the attention of South Africa, Great Britain, and India. Back at home in India, he gradually became the central figure in the movement to end British Colonial Rule. He encouraged boycotts of British goods, peaceful protests, civil disobedience, and a refusal to cooperate with unjust laws. These actions mobilized millions, weakened the legitimacy of British rule, and made India increasingly difficult to govern without Indian cooperation. Along with Britain’s postwar exhaustion, shifting political attitudes, growing unrest, and pressure from the broader independence movement, these factors helped make continued colonial rule untenable. Independence came in 1947, but not without its own difficulties — but that will have to be another blog post.
The title “Mahatma” made Gandhi extremely uncomfortable, because it means “great soul.” Gandhi considered himself no greater than the people he walked among. His humility may have helped create a reciprocal form of courage: he drew strength from the people who trusted him, while they drew strength from his leadership.
Other Examples
Each person I studied as an example of borrowed courage warrants much longer treatment than I’m able to provide in a single blog post. Rosa Parks was not merely physically tired; she was an experienced activist who had reached a point at which she was tired of surrendering her dignity. She also stood within a community of people who had been resisting racial injustice for years. Winston Churchill battled sadness, anxiety, and even bouts of depression, conditions that surely made leadership difficult through the World War II years and afterward. Whatever the precise nature of his periods of discouragement, Churchill appeared to draw resolve from duty, history, and the determination of the British people. I wrote about Tahirih (Qurrat al-‘Ayn), who drew courage from her spiritual convictions, remaining steadfast even in the face of imprisonment and execution.
While these are better-known historical figures, borrowing courage is far more common than you may realize. Look around you at the people you admire. When they’ve faced struggles, they often don’t know how they pushed through them. It was likely that they borrowed courage from someone else.
Everyday Borrowed Courage
You may have done it yourself. Have you ever done something difficult while a parent or friend cheers you on? I remember climbing the high-dive ladder, slowly, scared to death; my friends gathered around the base of the ladder, cheering and jeering. Finally, I scaled that ladder, walked to the end of the board, took a deep breath, and jumped. I needed that borrowed courage, because, to this day, I have a problem with heights.
I know a lot of people at work who present information formally, despite their fear of speaking in public (one of the most commonly reported fears among adults). Having a colleague or mentor offering encouragement can help people understand how important their own voice can be, whether speaking on a business or personal level.
Often, we read or hear a request for prayer for a person who is ill, suffering, or struggling. A large body of research links strong social support with lower stress, better physical and mental health, and greater adherence to treatment or self-care. In some populations, it is also associated with better recovery and survival outcomes. The sense of community enables us, even in times of desperation or illness, to borrow the strength of our community.
The Ripple Effect of Borrowed Courage
Courage spreads. When you borrow it, you often find yourself lending it. You may lend it before you’ve borrowed it. Lending courage doesn’t diminish your own, though. In fact, by lending courage, you can find more of your own. Borrowing courage from others is usually done silently, and it doesn’t take anything from those from whom you borrow it. We say “borrowing courage,” not because we can return the exact courage we borrowed, but because we don’t need it for long. Borrowing courage serves its purpose when we come into our own courage.
We see it all the time, but we may not have recognized it as borrowed courage. Movements require a leader, and an effective leader usually hasn’t sought leadership for the movement. They receive small encouragements from people who share a sentiment, becoming the courageous front voice of the collective group, both borrowing and lending courage. So we see, as well, that encouraging someone else to step into a role can also be an act of courage.
Borrowed courage is not automatically virtuous; its value depends on what it empowers us to do. We must also acknowledge the effect that borrowed courage and group reinforcement can play in mob actions. A group will often do what a single actor would never attempt. While we don’t always see a clear leader in a mob, the group is borrowing courage from one another to commit acts of violence, disorder, or insurrection. It’s one example of something that can be used for good also being used for evil.
Practicing Borrowed Courage Today — and Every Day
People who seem to succeed at everything or seem to lead naturally weren’t born that way. They make use of a few practices that you can put into place starting today to borrow the courage of others.
- Surround yourself with encouragers, mentors, and role models.
- Remind yourself that needing courage doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’re human.
- Name your sources. Make a list of books, mentors, faith traditions, colleagues, and others who are always on your side.
- Intentionally BE a lender of courage — affirm someone who feels like an impostor, assuring them that they are where they are meant to be, that they bring their share of value to their situation.
Your Turn
Have you ever felt like an impostor, or are you there now? Remember that courage doesn’t always start within. A lot of times, it’s borrowed until it grows into your own. When impostor syndrome whispers “you don’t belong here,” remember — borrow courage, and, later, lend it freely.
Share your impressions on impostor syndrome, and a time when you either borrowed or lent courage to someone else. C’mon, I know I’m not the only one.
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